Daemon

Here's my daemon. You can find out yours in the Daemon section at the link below.

www.goldencompassmovie.com

Supervised crying

I cried in therapy. A lot. I went through three tissues. Which is more tissues than I've ever used in front of someone. We talked about many things, one of which is the building of my connection between my inner emotions to my expression of those emotions. Laying down bricks of a path or building of a bridge over water, it all means one thing: making me a better version of me. One that doesn't have to hide behind jokes or let things get so bad that I break down without provocation. Now I just have to build that path, which is the hard part. But it gets easier.

Life

I'm trying to get my life in order. Plans include seeing a nutritionist, for one needs to have a balanced system to function properly; seeing a physical therapist, because a working knee is a better knee than what I have now; and seeing a regular therapist, because I need advice on how to straighten my life out (because I can't do it alone, as the line goes).

I'm also trying to do my homework in a timely fashion, primarily by starting it on the weekends and working on it through the week, rather then start it the night before it's due. I'm also going to try to stay on top of my readings. It's bad when it's this early in the semester and I'm already as behind as I am.

Meditation

I made my first serious effort at mediation last night. Go to this link to hear the recording I meditated to. It worked wonders, though my legs had a few convulsions and a few other things came up (I just don't think may body has been use to not moving at all for many years.) I hope the more I do it, the less twitchy I'll be. It was amazing. I felt energized in a peaceful way at the end. Which didn't help the fact I was going to bed. Oh, well. My body was relaxed and all of the tension was out of my face and shoulders.

Rugby

I went to our first rugby game today. We won against Boston University. It's a good sign to start off the season like this.

I'm torn; I don't know whether I should go back to rugby after my time off or not. I lack cetian qualities needed to be a good rugger: I get confused in chaotic situations, and I can't take my aggression out on others. I feel that instead of doing something that brings out my violence in such an unfulfilling way, I should try something that brings out my calm.

Which brings me to my next point. I want to either try to dance next semester or do yoga. It take me a while to control my coordination so I might just do yoga. It would help center me, I'm hoping.